Day 24 - How to interrogate a lying child

Kids lie. Period. Any parent who tells you that their angel never did is a bigger liar.

I don't have any homework. I've finished all my homework! He started it first. I never said that! I didn't eat the last cookie! These are some of the most common lies that kids tell.

There are some tried and tested ways to get the truth out of your kids especially when they're little.
So, if you've run out of veritaserum (trust me, you can never have enough) and if you don't want to resort to torture (though you may be sorely tempted to), there is one surefire technique you can use, the art of deflection. Asking Junior with a stern face, "Did you hit your sister?" is going to elicit only a stubborn No. No matter how many times you ask it. Try this instead, "Honey, did you hit your sister with your right hand or your left? This (Demonstration) is your right hand and this is your left. Now tell Mommy which hand you used to hit your sister." Chances are the response will be the right or the left. See, Artful deflection.

My mother was an expert at this. There is an old story that is now the stuff of family folklore about a cousin of mine when she was about 3. Now, when we were young we were forbidden to eat in anyone's houses without explicit permission because a lot of our neighbours ate a lot of stuff that we didn't. And besides, someone had to control what we ate, else we would eat till we got a bellyache. 

Now, there came a day when this 3-year-old cousin was very hungry and from the neighbour's house drfited aromas strange and delicious. Well, the kid succumbed. But she couldn't tell the adults. So she lied. That she hadn't eaten anything. No, she didn't want a snack or a glass of milk. No, she was absolutely sure she hadn't eaten anything.

That's when my mother stepped in with the subtle art of deflection. "So did you eat idli or dosa at Sabina's house darling? That's all they make, isn't it?" She asked the stubborn little child with the suspiciously round tummy.

"I didn't eat either!" She should have stopped right there. "I ate Puttu. They don't make only idlis and dosas!" she said defending their culinary honour. Then, realizing that she had just incriminated herself, she tried denying everything, "I didn't eat anything."

The story should have ended there, but it was so much fun that a little later, my mother let it slip quite casually, "So, did Sabina's grandma serve you or was it her mother?" Pat came the response, "Her grandma of course, her mother is at office!" And a little later, the realization and then again the denial. 

"So did you eat the Puttu with bananas or gravy?" "Gravy, of course. They always make gravy with Puttu!"

Needless to say, the rule banning outside food was soon relaxed in our house. People were getting a bellyache anyway. From laughing.

Now, there's an old saying that the hardest kids to wake up are those that are pretending to sleep. There's a tried and tested technique for that too. Just look down at the supposedly sleeping tot and say, "You know, I think he really is sleeping. I know he's sleeping, because kids who are really truly deeply sleeping will raise their legs way up high and then put it down again." Now watch the leg rise and catch them out.

Of course, kids are smart and if you try the same tactic one too many times, they will start to faintly smell a large furry rodent, but you can come up with any number of these tactics. Because as devious as kids are, their parents have twice as much deviousness naturally built in. Comes with the package. So go ahead and trick those shysters. They deserve it!